Thoughts

So, I've been working on a new wow character on the side, something very different from what I've been playing. Even on a new server. She is for a project, something I hope to do allot more with, which I wont say much about here at the moment. The reason I mention her is that I've just had an incredible moment of clarity about her as a person, about her nature, and how she came to be what she is. And amazingly enough, it took me getting radically upset at someone about some lore argument in game, and sitting here listening to Rise from Stand Alone Complex Second Gig for it to happen.

She's faced with the fact that the thing she has chosen to dedicate her life to, the thing which she placed all her hope in as a way to possibly avenge her family or at least find some peace with what happened to them, is a total sham in its current form. Instead of bowing to this, she has vowed to live her life by the old ways, and to show to the world that the spirit of the thing she is is not dead, nor forgotten. And Sitting here, listening to this song, I heard her voice in the lyrics:


I'm a soldier, born to stand
in this waking hell I am
witnessing more than I can compute

pray myself we don't forget
lies, betrayed and the oppressed
please give me the strength to be the truth

My heart suddenly locked up hearing these words, because I heard Her voice. Her desperation. Her devotion.

And then I listened to the rest of the chorus, and I knew who she was:

Save your fears
take your place
save them for the judgment day
fast and free
follow me
time to make the sacrifice
we rise or fall

I'm a soldier, born to stand
in this waking hell I am
witnessing more than I can compute

pray myself we don't forget
lies, betrayed and the oppressed
please give me the strength to be the truth

people facing the fire together
if we don't, we'll lose all we have found

Sometimes, a moment of clear insight such as this helps. It's made me feel very differently about her and the project shes associated with suddenly.

But now get up
Hide the pain and fear far
The one who's right will win
Know that everything is in your hands

Sometimes I wonder if in a past life I fought for a cause which could not be won. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still doing it in this life.