Something I heard on the radio on the way home got me thinking. It is, of course, the month of Tishri, the Jewish High Holy month, the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Now, I am not a practicing Jew, nor am I practicing of any religion, nor of any religious upbringing, but I find a particular draw to this time of year on the Jewish calendar, because of the theme it brings to mind: Forgiveness. It is the last month of the year, the time for forgiveness and reconciliation, for mending of things broken in the last year, and the forgiveness for interpersonal transgressions.
My own personal issues, at least the majority of them, stem from one cycle of fear: the fear of transgression, the fear of failure to repent properly and fully, and the fear of the lack of forgiveness. When I sin (for there really is no better word for it, dispite the religous connotations), I repent as fully as I can, and I hope for the forgiveness of those I have sinned against. And forgiveness is given, most of the time.
But the issue brought up on the radio as I was driving home was simple: Is it alright not to forgive those who trangress against us who give no rependance, who display no true remorse for what they have done? The answer given, and I think rightly so, is yes. If there is no repentance for the act, no recompence made, no remorse felt, then forgiveness - the reciprocation of that repentance - should not be given.
Yet there is a danger in this, one i know well myself - to know that repentance is true, and fully given, before forgiveness is given. How does one know? It requires an element of trust, something which in such a situation is nearly impossible. And so, those who have transgressed and repent truely are at the mercy of those from whom they seek repentance, a mercy tainted by those who act repentant to escape punishment or retrobution.

Who after his transgression doth repent,
Is halfe, or altogether, innocent.
- Robert Herrick, Hesperides--Penitence

.... If only it felt that way...