It seems like the most eventful parts of my life are the least blogged. Perhaps that is best, since those of you who read this who I Don't know about may have a totally different idea of my life than is the case.
The point is - I'm making some changes in my life.

No more nights out drinking with my friends when the love of my life isnt there. No more dual life of intelect and person, no more extention inclusion dimorph of existance between love and friendship. (As the song says, the Drinking bone's connected to the Party Bone, the Party bone's connected to the staying out all night long, and she wouldnt think its funny so I'd wind up all alone, and the Lonely bone's connected to the Drinking bone) If I'm going to have friends, they will be OUR friends, not mine or his.

I'm going to make an extream point of taking better care of myself and my enviroment. I cannot neglect the external or the internal physical, because their neglect is causing my emotional relations to suffer. And that I have to stop from coming to a head worse than it has already.

But more changes than externals. I am on an inner quest, in a way, to examine reality around me - to become, as the zen budhists say, more present. To think about each thought, feeling, and action and its origin and cause and reason, and to understand it before acting on it or feeling it. This is my excersice for myself for my life and living. To do nothing that would cause negative emotions in others, to do well and do good as best I can.

Does that make any sense? I'm not sure it really conveys the shear scope of what I'm trying to do, but its the best way I can say it.