I'm terrified of not being respected.
I'm terrified of being treated with respect that is false.
I'm terrified of not being treated with any respect.
I'm terrified of being respected for things I shouldn't be.
I'm terrified of not being respected for things I should be.
I'm terrified of loosing what respect I have earned.
I'm terrified of gaining respect I haven't earned.
I'm terrified of never being respected for anything.

I fear lies, I tell lies, I hate those who lie, I hate myself.

I fear being worthless... yet I fear ever having worth, for I may loose it.

And most importantly, how do I know I am worth something, that I am respected? And how do I know when that worth and that respect is false?

Should I feel rage at false respect? Should I feel rage at having my worth stolen?
Should I feel shame at having believed false praise and respect?