Academic embarasment.

The worst sort. Always. When you seek to be seen as an intelectual equal of those on a higher educational level than yourself, the chance of failing and looking like a fool increases the a group higher you seek to be accepted within.

Shame is not much of a component of academics, at least not openly. It is perhaps the most powerful tool of academic punishment available. And it is at its worst when we inflict it on ourselves.

Why can I not be happy being accepted as a top undergrad? Why do I seek aproval on a graduate level when I am not a graduate student?