Theoretically, penises have higher bandwidth than cable modems, apparently.

Surely one would also have to consider throughput, latency and other information theory preoccupations. You may get a burst capacity of 78 Mbs over 5 seconds, but how many ejaculations can the average man reasonably be expected to have over a period of, say, one week? I would suggest that even with a John Holmes type, the cable modem will win out in terms of throughput over a sustained period.

All i have to say is... Wow, Imagine a Beowul.. ahh sorry wrong board.