What Do You Want From Me?
As you look around this room tonight
Settle in your seat and dim the lights
Do you want my blood, do you want my tears
What do you want
What do you want from me
Should I sing until I can't sing any more
Play these strings until my fingers are raw
You're so hard to please
What do you want from me

Semester is over. I made a D in Java. A C in CIS3300, no idea what else in the others. Semester ends dismally.
Insert reality check speach from father. Insert overwhelming feelings of worthlessness and self loathing.

Do you think I know something you don't know
What do you want from me
If I don't promise you the answers would you go
What do you want from me
Should I stand out in the rain
Do you want me to make a daisy chain for you
I'm not the one you need
What do you want from me

Replace these with a numbness, an empty lack of care. Concern and fear. Why don't I care?
Once i would have laid open my gut at a D in dishonnor. Now... it has happend, it has passed, it is done with. I move on with myself. No ammount of pain I inflict upon myself will change what has passed and what has transpired. I learned that lesson.

You can have anything you want
You can drift, you can dream, even walk on water
Anything you want

Now all I can do is accept it, and do what ever I can next semester to not repeat it.

You can own everything you see
Sell your soul for complete control
Is that really what you need

I will not let my self worth be judged by my academic standing. There is more to me than my grades. I am not just my gpa. I am more. I am more.

You can lose yourself this night
See inside there is nothing to hide
Turn and face the light

So I close my eyes on this last night, waiting for the rest of my grades, but not caring. I wait for January more. It will be fresh, new, something I can change and influence. The past is fixed.

What do you want from me

The future is malable through the moment of now.