When something happens.... It usually should have been expected
For over a week my body has been trying to tell me something. I, like a normal human being, ignored it utterly and went about my daily drugery oblivious to the plee for help from my interals. So, Thursday, as I'm truging between doctors offices at Peidmont hospital, it sends up the final warning flares. Within thirty minutes, im in the ER of Peidmont Hospital with a full blown asthma attack.
Lesson 1) Listen to your body when its trying to tell you something.
So what was my body trying to tell me? One, my basement and house are full of mold, dust, and crud, and Atlanta air is filthy. Two, no matter even if it is the first week of classes, if your sick, your sick, stay home and sleep as much as possible. Get well first, deal with academics second. Third - listen to your body when it bitches at you: the louder it bitches the worse the final outcome is going to be. Ow.
So exausted, sore, hungry, and generally shaken up about my life, I came home at 7:30 or so Thursday night, after having been in the ER since 1:30. I managed to drive home, clean my room a bit, change my sheets, eat, call my father and Erik before i passed out cold in bed to sleep (with some interuptions) until 4:00pm Friday. The largest of these interuptions being that Erik, having been in SC all week and expecting me Thursday night sometime, drove home to take care of me so my mother could go out of town this weekend. I love him. Hes too good to me sometimes.
Lesson 2) When trouble happens, reach out for those that can comfort you.
Just having Erik with me that first night helped me sleep. Tonight... Tonight is another story. I cant sleep. Ive tried. I'm too awake, with too many things going through my mind. Erik finally went to bed a few hours ago, and I tried to go to sleep with him. It didnt work. So here I am. I can already feel a bad wave of depression settling in on me, the lonely helpless feeling of just needing someone to tell me "Its all right, we'll take care of you" who I can beleive and trust and who can say it whenever i need to hear it. But I can't expect that of anyone. Everyone else has their own troubles beyond mine, and the last thing I should do is impose myself on them and their worries.
Lesson 3) Dont rely on everyone else for your support. Find a way to support yourself.
When I get scared and nervous and bad feeling, I get bitchy and naggy. I forget Ive asked a question twice before, and ask it again, I tend to nag and bitch and whine because frankly I dont want to be ignored. Its selfish. I know it is. But I've spent a lifetime being ignored and rejected when ever I've been ill, and it almost becomes a desperation for sympathy and notice when there is something seriously wrong. But I can't expect the level I expect and I know it.
Lesson 4) Sometimes, there are no answers.
For over a week my body has been trying to tell me something. I, like a normal human being, ignored it utterly and went about my daily drugery oblivious to the plee for help from my interals. So, Thursday, as I'm truging between doctors offices at Peidmont hospital, it sends up the final warning flares. Within thirty minutes, im in the ER of Peidmont Hospital with a full blown asthma attack.
Lesson 1) Listen to your body when its trying to tell you something.
So what was my body trying to tell me? One, my basement and house are full of mold, dust, and crud, and Atlanta air is filthy. Two, no matter even if it is the first week of classes, if your sick, your sick, stay home and sleep as much as possible. Get well first, deal with academics second. Third - listen to your body when it bitches at you: the louder it bitches the worse the final outcome is going to be. Ow.
So exausted, sore, hungry, and generally shaken up about my life, I came home at 7:30 or so Thursday night, after having been in the ER since 1:30. I managed to drive home, clean my room a bit, change my sheets, eat, call my father and Erik before i passed out cold in bed to sleep (with some interuptions) until 4:00pm Friday. The largest of these interuptions being that Erik, having been in SC all week and expecting me Thursday night sometime, drove home to take care of me so my mother could go out of town this weekend. I love him. Hes too good to me sometimes.
Lesson 2) When trouble happens, reach out for those that can comfort you.
Just having Erik with me that first night helped me sleep. Tonight... Tonight is another story. I cant sleep. Ive tried. I'm too awake, with too many things going through my mind. Erik finally went to bed a few hours ago, and I tried to go to sleep with him. It didnt work. So here I am. I can already feel a bad wave of depression settling in on me, the lonely helpless feeling of just needing someone to tell me "Its all right, we'll take care of you" who I can beleive and trust and who can say it whenever i need to hear it. But I can't expect that of anyone. Everyone else has their own troubles beyond mine, and the last thing I should do is impose myself on them and their worries.
Lesson 3) Dont rely on everyone else for your support. Find a way to support yourself.
When I get scared and nervous and bad feeling, I get bitchy and naggy. I forget Ive asked a question twice before, and ask it again, I tend to nag and bitch and whine because frankly I dont want to be ignored. Its selfish. I know it is. But I've spent a lifetime being ignored and rejected when ever I've been ill, and it almost becomes a desperation for sympathy and notice when there is something seriously wrong. But I can't expect the level I expect and I know it.
Lesson 4) Sometimes, there are no answers.
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