So I haven't talked too much about how I'm doing in these last few days. Oddly enough, I've been doing pretty well, 80%-90% of the time. I've had some rough moments, some very rough ones actually - but the important thing is I pulled through them and delt with what caused them.

Strangely enough, allot of what I've been dealing with is just my own mental shit - twinging as certian memories float to the surface for various reasons. But I'm taking a very Zen approach to them: when such a memory arises, I simply remember it, and feel it, and then let it go. There really is no reason to hang on to a good memory when all it does is cause you pain now. By remembering why it was good, and then accepting that it isnt how things are now, you can spare yourself allot of pain.

The other part of what I've been dealing with is of course, learning how to let myself feel things again, without them overtaking me. Allot of my rough spots were some strong emotion getting its claws into me and me not being able to let it go. Conversly, I felt myself starting to go Numb once or twice, to the point of regressing almost back into my Glass Bubble mentality. But that fades quickly, thank heaven. But learning to feel, and feel things right, is a tricky thing. It's odd really - feeling things really shouldn't be this hard of a thing to get a handle on.

But things are getting Better. To the point I'm risking something tonight I wasn't sure how I was going to face. My ex and I are going out to spend some time together. I know this is against the better judgement of some of you, my loyal readers, but I feel I need to do this now, else I will simply hide from it until we drift appart. I'm trying not to let that happen.

So here we go, folks, wish me luck.